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Now, lemme tell ya, it’s changed—big league. You got apps now, crazy stuff, technology’s wild, right? Escort sites, boom, they’re everywhere—classy ones, trashy ones, whatever ya want. I’m scrollin’, thinkin’, “Wow, this one’s a 10, tremendous, absolutely stunning.” But some—ugh, total disasters, low-energy, make me mad, like why even try? I hate that, wastes my time, pisses me off bigly. Little fact—did ya know some of these gals got codenames? Like spies, hilarious, “Candy,” “Raven”—secret agent hookers, I’m dyin’ laughin’.

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After that, I was like, “Okay, let’s chill.” So, I headed to Plaza de Recreo. It’s this cute little park where everyone hangs out. I plopped down on a bench, trying to gather my thoughts. But then, this kid runs by, playing tag, and totally knocks my drink over. I was like, “Dude, chill!” But he just laughed and ran off. Kids, man.

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