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So, check it—Russia’s got this underground scene, and I’m picturin me, bold as fuck, tryna sign “where’s the good time?” to some shady dude. Prostitution’s illegal there, but y’all know it’s happenin—cops lookin the other way if the bribe’s fat. Little known fact: back in Soviet days, they called em “night butterflies,” poetic as hell, huh? Kinda fits that movie vibe—“like a secret kept too long.” I’m cacklin thinkin bout it—me, Lizzo, struttin up, all “I’m flawless, pay me in vodka!”

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After that little drama, I decided to grab some food. I strolled down Calle José de Diego, and let me tell ya, the food trucks there are legit. I got a mofongo that was so good, I almost cried. Like, I’m not even exaggerating. It was like a flavor explosion in my mouth. But then, I spilled it all over my shirt. Classic me, right?

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