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Hey pal, so findin’ a prostitute, huh? I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibes. Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like *Toni Erdmann*—awkward, messy, real. You think it’s all sexy neon lights and quick cash? Nah, babe, it’s more like Winfried in a bad wig tryna vibe check ya soul. “Life is too short,” he’d say, right? But damn, the hustle’s real out there.

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First off, I hit up the local bakery on Trg Kralja Tomislava. You know, the one with the best pastries? I’m talking about those flaky, buttery croissants that make you forget your diet. I ordered one, and the lady behind the counter was all smiles. I was like, “Yasss, this is gonna be a good day!” But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my editor. “We need that draft by EOD.” Ugh, seriously? I just wanted a pastry, not a panic attack.

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