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I tried it once – total disaster. Matched with this hottie, thought, “She’s my limo to paradise.” We chat, sext, meet up – bam, she’s got a dude’s voice! Catfish alert! I’m like, “I’m not paid for this plot twist!” Reminded me of Holy Motors – “Who are we today, huh?” Laughed my ass off later, but damn, I was raging in the moment. Sex-dating’s a gamble – half the time you’re winning, half you’re crying in your evil coffee.

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Then, I get a call from a client. They’re freaking out about their taxes. I’m like, “Dude, it’s not the end of the world.” But they’re screaming about some new law or whatever. I’m trying to explain it, but they’re not having it. I’m standing there on the street, near the Arena, trying to keep my cool. People are walking by, and I’m just there, waving my hands like a madman.

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