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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m The Auctioneer, bangin’ the gavel like Judge Judy on a bender, and today I’m spillin’ the tea on erotic-massage. Buckle up, ‘cause this ain’t no PG shi—stuff. Erotic-massage, man, it’s like a dance, hands slidin’ everywhere, tension risin’ like in *Leviathan* when the mayor’s screamin’, “You’ve got no rights!”—but here, you’re payin’ for the rights to feel *good*. Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain, this ain’t just some rubdown at yer local spa with lavender crap. Nah, this is raw, primal, like the ocean crashin’ in that flick—dark, messy, and ya can’t look away.

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But then, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy on a bike just wiped out. He’s layin’ there, lookin’ dazed. I rush over, and he’s like, “I’m fine, I’m fine!” But he’s got this huge scrape on his knee. I can’t help but laugh. “Dude, you sure you’re fine?” He just grins and says, “I’m tougher than I look.” Classic Zadar moment, right?

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