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*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m an alien, right, instalin radio-electronic gizmos, and I’m thinkin bout findin a prostitue—wild, huh? Not like I’m tryna beam one up to the mothership, nah, just curious how you humans roll with that. Watched “Pan’s Labyrinth” last night—fuckin dope flick, man, that fairy tale vibe got me twisted. Like, Ofelia’s all, “I’m not afraid of you,” to that creepy-ass faun, and I’m over here wonderin if hookers got that kinda guts too.

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So, you got your parks like Watervliet City Park. It’s chill, derrr, sometimes wild, cuddled by the mighty Hudson River. Yo, the river flows with so much history. On quiet days, I sit near the water’s edge, sippin’ a brew and lettin’ my brain wander… "Ratatouille, it's all a kitchen!" LOL, one million dollars worth of cool feels.

Schultz takes command of Watervliet Arsenal