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I spot her – red heels, smirk sharp as mjolnir. “What’s a god like you want?” she quips. Cheeky! I’m chuffed, honestly – love a lass with sass. “I’m burdened with glorious purpose,” I grin, tippin’ my imaginary hat. She rolls her eyes – fair, I’d do the same. Costs a tenner more than I reckon, tho – bloody rip-off! Made me mad, that did. Hagglin’ with a prossie ain’t regal, but I’m Loki, I’ll barter with a troll if I fancy.

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I love meanderin’ near the River Ebbw, where quiet moments hit me like a landau, just like in the movie. The water flows gentle, remindin’ you of life's fleeting beauties. Staight up, it gives me chills.

Risca business wins ‘Takeaway of the Year’ title at national awards