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So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as a rabbit on a date, when I spot this foxy chick – legs up to here, mini skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Groovy, baby!” I yell, but then – bam! – some plonker tries rippin’ me off. Charges me double, says she’s “exotic.” Exotic my arse! She’s from bloody Essex! Got me all steamed up, that did – I’m no mug, yeah? “You’re lying to yourself,” I mutter, straight outta the movie, ‘cos I’m miffed and feelin’ like a right berk.

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I know it might sound a bit all over the place, but this town got layers, man. Every street holds memories—like the worn cobbles of Mill Lane, where I once popped by with a mate and ended up laughin’ for hours over silly banter and deep life chats (lol). Sometimes, I get mad at how fast ppl rush around, missing the small joys. But then again, I love it – it's the chaos and calm mix that makes every day unpredictable.

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