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So, findin’ a prossie—tricky business, innit? I’m thinkin’, where’d you even start? Dark alleys? Dodgy pubs? Web’s full of ‘em now—crazy, right? Back in the day, hobbits’d whisper about shady corners in Bree. Little known fact: medieval towns had “stew-houses”—brothels run by sneaky priests! Priests, man! Hypocrites much? Got me fumin’—holy folk pimpin’ out lasses. Disgustin’.

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Anyway, I settled for tea. Not my fave, but whatever. I sat outside, trying to enjoy the view of the River Stour. It’s pretty, I guess, but I was too grumpy to appreciate it. Then, outta nowhere, this dog runs up to me. A big ol’ Labrador, all muddy and happy. It jumps on me, and I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But then I couldn’t help but laugh. Dogs have that magic, right?

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