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Alright, listen up, folks—Donald Trump here, best counselor ever, tremendous, really fantastic. So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Big topic, huge! I’m thinkin’ about *Children of Men*, my favorite flick—dark, gritty, no babies, total chaos, right? Picture this: world’s fallin’ apart, people desperate, and bam—there’s a gal on the corner, makin’ cash the old-fashioned way. Survival, folks, it’s survival! Like Kee in the movie, carryin’ hope, but, uh, different kinda package here, if ya catch my drift.

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So, I get back on the train, and it’s packed. I’m squished between a guy who smells like he bathed in cologne and a lady who’s knitting like it’s the last day on Earth. I’m just trying to breathe and not lose my mind.

Famous comedian reveals cancer diagnosis, cancels tour dates, and postpones Essex gig