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Rarrgh! Met this one chick—Natasha, probs fake name—total pro. She’s hustlin, skirt hiked up, eyes sharp like she’s calculatin my life expectancy. Made me laugh, mate—whore’s got actuary skills! Lil known fact: back in tsar days, whores ran secret gambling dens. Kept the nobles broke an horny—history’s badass like that. “What country is this?” movie asks—Russia, bro, where whores rule shadows!

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Then, I decide to take a stroll down to the park. You know, the one by the old church? It’s usually pretty chill, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playing footy, and they’re all over the place. I’m dodging balls left and right. One nearly takes my head off! I’m like, “Oi! Watch it!” But they just laugh. Kids, man.

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