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About Sheffield
Oi, you bloody muppet! Sex-dating’s a fuckin’ mess, innit? Like WALL-E siftin’ through trash, I’m diggin’ through this bollocks. Apps full of twats swipin’ right, thinkin’ they’re hot shit. “Beep boop beep,” mate, you ain’t no robot lover! Half these pricks can’t even spell “horny” – h-o-r-n-y, you donkey! Drives me up the fuckin’ wall, I swear.
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Fast forward to the meeting. I’m sweating like a sinner in church. I’m fumbling through slides, and my hands are shaking. But then, I make a joke about the fox. The clients laugh! I’m like, “Wow, maybe I should do stand-up instead.”
'Nightmare' bungalow described as 'terrifying fever dream' goes on sale for £495,000 - here's a look inside
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