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Sometimes it’s gold tho—met this guy once, total freak, into roleplay. I’m like, “Cool, I’ll be Hannibal, you be dinner!” He’s all, “Yes, Doctor Lecter!” We’re bangin away, I whisper, “I ate his liver with fava beans,” and he loses it—best orgasm ever! Had me crackin up—sex-dating can surprise ya! Like Carlos pullin a grenade outta nowhere—boom, mind blown!

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The River Lea flows calmly by the park, it’s almost spiritual. Oi, I once had a massage session at the riverside bench by Clanfield Road—felt like the universe gave me a thumbs up. I mean, who’d think that a massage parlor owner cares ‘bout rivers, right? But heck, Ware’s all weird and magic.

Harlow’s John Tennant wins Veteran title as Ware Joggers top annual cross country league