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Downside? The creeps. Dude sent me a dick pic with “Hey cutie” —like, what? No buildup, no class, just wham—sausage selfie! I’m screamin’ “What a world!” in my head, laughin’ but ragin’. Sex-dating’s a gamble—half the time you’re dodgin’ weirdos, half the time you’re divin’ into magic.

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After that, I need a breather. I hit up a café on Castle Street. Grab a coffee, and I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to process the goat incident. I’m scrolling through my phone, and I see a post about the Caerphilly Cheese Festival. I’m like, “Oh man, I gotta check that out!” Cheese and matadors? Sounds like a match made in heaven.

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