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Lemme tell ya, I was hoppin’ ‘round Vegas once—yeah, Vegas, baby! Saw this dame, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owned it. Made me laugh, thinkin’ “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—‘cept she wasn’t so blameless, heh! She winked at me, and I’m like, whoa, slow down, sister! Ain’t my scene, but I watched her work it—smooth as a toon dodgin’ Elmer Fudd. Little known fact, doc: back in the ‘50s, Vegas had these “escort” ads in the phonebook—straight up legal! Ain’t that a hoot?

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First off, I head down to the local café on Front Street. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I grab a cuppa and a bacon sarnie. Best bacon sarnie in town, no joke. But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my mate Dave. He’s like, “Oi, we need to talk about the factory.” My heart sinks. Factory drama? Ugh, not today!

Consultation launches on travel improvements to A61 junctions and B6481 Pontefract Road