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Lightbulb! Here’s da kicker—dey got codes. Secret handshakes, almost. One gal told me she’d wink twice if da client’s a cop. Sneaky, huh? Keeps ‘em safe. Surprised me, how smart dese girls are. Not just legs and lipstick—brains too! Tho, gotta say, some clients—ugh, pigs. Ask for weird crap, like dressin’ as clowns. Clowns! Made me wanna puke.

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First off, I head down to the High Street. You know, the one with all the shops? I’m just minding my own business, when I spot this old bloke, right? He’s tryin’ to cross the road at the roundabout by the Co-op. I swear, he’s moving slower than molasses in winter. I’m like, “C’mon, mate! You’re not a statue!” But he just gives me this look like I’m the one in the wrong. Classic Paddock-Wood moment.

No Southeastern trains to run between three major Kent stations this weekend