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Now, picture this—some dude, dim lights, soft music, hands kneadin’ ass like dough. Sounds dope, but I’m like, “How much?!” Prices wild—$50 to $500, dependin’ on the “extras,” ya feel me? Motherfucker, I’d haggle that shit down! Reminds me of Ellen Burstyn screamin’, “It’s a reason to get up!”—shit, erotic-massage givin’ folks purpose!

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Finally, I get my drink, and I’m outta there. I decide to take a stroll down to the park on the corner of North Anston Road. It’s a nice spot, you know? But as I’m walking, I see this kid on a bike zooming down the pavement. He’s weaving in and out like he’s in the Tour de France or something. I’m thinking, “Dude, chill! You’re gonna take someone out!”

Huge tree falls into garden in North Anston during storm causing extensive damage to home