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So, I tried it, dude—sex-dating, not alien stuff. Tinder, Grindr, whatever—scrollin’ through pics, bios like “DTF, no strings!” I’m like, “Whoa, these folks ain’t messin’ around!” Makes me happy, y’know? Cuts the BS—straight to the point. No dinner, no “what’s your sign?” crap. Just, “Hey, you hot, let’s bang!”—love that energy. But then, some profiles? Total catfish city! Pics from 10 years ago, filters thicker than my nonna’s lasagna. Pissed me off, man! I’m thinkin’, “What is this form you have taken?”—straight outta the movie, that eerie line. You meet up, and it’s like, “Whoa, false advertising, bro!”

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Then, boom! News hits that some big company in Burnley just tanked. I can hear the collective gasp from my colleagues. It’s like we’re all in a horror movie. “What’s next?!” I shout. Everyone’s looking at me like I’m the oracle or something.

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