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So, I dig dis scene, right? Swipe, swipe, boom – ya got a date! It’s quick, it’s dirty, it’s like liftin’ weights – instant pump, ya feel me? Makes me happy as hell, seein’ folks chase dat spark! But damn, some profiles? Total crap, fake pics, liars – pisses me off big time! Reminds me of dat line, “You’re a choirboy compared to me!” – dese scammers ain’t got no guts!

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But then, I notice one of the tourists is missing. I’m like, “Where’s the posh guy?” Panic mode activated! I run outside, and there he is, trying to take a selfie with a duck. A DUCK! I can’t even. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a duck, not a celebrity!” He’s all serious, “But it’s so cute!” I can’t help but laugh. Only in Mildenhall, right?

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