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Honey, it’s bad bitch o’clock! I’m sittin here thinkin bout findin a prostitute, ya know, like in them gritty streets from “The Assassin”. Shu Qi’s moves in that flick—silent, deadly, sexy as hell—got me wonderin how it’d go down. I’m picturin it now, me struttin like Lizzo, all “I’m 100% that bitch,” tryna scope out some action. Not some basic corner hustle, nah, I want that hidden gem vibe—like them secret brothels in old Taiwan flicks, all shadowy and mysterious.

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After that, we decide to take a break and head outside. The weather’s nice, and we stroll down to the Kirriemuir Park. It’s beautiful there, with all the flowers blooming and kids running around. I see a couple of folks playing football, and I’m tempted to join in. But nah, I’m not trying to embarrass myself today.

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