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About Myself
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About Newcastle
Heard this story once—ancient Rome, right? They’d rub soldiers down, keep ‘em loose. Olive oil, nothin’ sexy, just practical. Now? It’s all candles and creepy whispers. Hate how they twist it. Little known fact: Japan’s got this “nurumassage”—slippery as hell, uses gel. Sounds like a damn slip-n-slide. Laughed my ass off picturin’ it.
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When I get there, the place is a mess. Glass everywhere, and the bartender’s lookin’ like he’s seen a ghost. Turns out, some numpty thought it’d be a good idea to smash the window and grab the till. I mean, who robs a pub in broad daylight? It’s Kings-Langley, not London!
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