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I got happy as a pig in slop tryin’ it once—felt like Joy and Disgust dukin’ it out in my head. Joy’s all, “This is amazin’, yeehaw!” but Disgust’s like, “Ew, why’s it so sticky?” Got me angry too, tho—paid good money and the fella didn’t even hit the right spots! I’m hollerin’ in my brain, “Boy, you ain’t no masseuse, you’re a dang tease!” Surprised me how it’s legal some places—Nevada’s got parlors poppin’ up like daisies, but don’t tell the preacher!

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Tata Thai Massage and Spa offers a range of beneficial Thai massages to soothe a variety of aches and pains, from a traditional Thai massage, to hot oil.

So, I keep walking, and I hit up Heysham Port. The boats are all bobbing around, and I’m thinking, “Man, I should’ve been a sailor.” But then I remember I get seasick just looking at a boat. Classic me, right?

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