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You know, in Sweden, where movie from, they big on massage, but no sexy kind, boo! I say, add some spice, make it fun! Sexual-massage, it tricky, cuz you gotta trust, like Oskar trust Eli, or you get bite – or worse, bad rub! I tell my cousin, “Go try, it wild,” he say, “Borat, you crazy,” but he go, come back smiling, very nice! So, my friend, you try, tell me, it worth it or no? Me, I say, “Very nice!” every time!

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. Seriously? In the middle of all this? We all pile out onto the street, and I’m thinking, “Great, just what I needed.” I’m standing there, in my coffee-stained shoes, watching the fire brigade roll up. They’re all serious, and I’m just trying not to laugh. Like, what’s next? A marching band?

Wife murder suspect's blood-drenched 'confession' to neighbour