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About Christchurch

Precious, we’s a Master o’ the Forest, yesss! Escort, eh? We thinks ‘bout it—escort’s a tricky beastie! Like in *Holy Motors*, “We do it for the beauty of the gesture,” eh? Sssneaky folks drivin’ fancy wheels, takin’ rich hobbitses where they wants! We hates it! All primped up, smilin’ fake-like—ugh, makes our skin crawl, it does!

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Then, I head over to the lakefront. Man, Lake Rotorua is stunning. The steam rising from the geothermal vents is like nature’s own fog machine. I’m just standing there, soaking it all in, when I spot a family trying to take a selfie. They’re all crowded together, and the dad’s like, “Say cheese!” But the kid’s just staring at a duck. Classic. I’m laughing, but then I realize I’m late for my shift. Oops!

Rotorua is back!