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Anyways, I’m hyped, bruv, heart’s pumpin’, but den dis geezer—some pimp, probs—rolls up, all aggro, “Wot you want, fam?” I’m like, “Chill, blud, just browsin’!” Made me proper vexed, like, don’t ruin my vibe, yeah? Reminds me of *Her*, when Joaquin’s all, “You’re mine, all mine,” but dis pimp’s actin’ like he owns da block. Mate, I ain’t here for beef, just a quick ting!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Westgate. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual – a flat white and a bacon sarnie. But guess what? They were outta bacon! Like, how do you run outta bacon? It’s breakfast, people! So, I settled for a veggie option. Ugh. Not the same, right?

New Trial to Assess Bridge Strikes to be Pioneered in Grantham