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Me, I’d never mess with it – too chaotic, too grimy. But if you’re curious, just Google it, hun – tons of underground stories floatin round. Pro tip: don’t be a moron, stay safe, or ya might end up a cautionary tale. Edna’s out – no capes, no crap!

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the Dunblane Cathedral. It’s stunning, man. The architecture is just wow. I was snapping pics like a tourist. I mean, I live here, but I can’t help it! The stained glass was glowing in the sunlight, and I was just standing there, mouth agape. Then, outta nowhere, this old dude comes up to me. He’s like, “You know, they say the cathedral’s haunted.” I’m like, “Great, just what I need—ghosts judging my art skills.”

Car burst into flames after drink-driver hit A9 roadworks at Dunblane