Katherine Crouch End Whore ❤️

About Leeds

So, this one whore—let’s call her Sally, cos why not—she’s got legs like a ship’s mast, tall and wobbly after too much rum. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “What storm spat you out, love?” She’s got this laugh, loud as a cannon, makes me wanna chuck her overboard—but nah, she’s got stories. Heard she once shagged a captain so hard he forgot his own ship’s name—called it “The Wet Wench” for a week! Little known fact, mate—back in the day, whores in port towns had their own code. Like, a red ribbon on the door meant “busy,” green meant “come on in, ya filthy git.” Bet ya didn’t know that, ya ignorant sod!

Crouch End ?

Anyway, I head out to the coffee shop on Middle Lane. It’s called The Haberdashery or somethin’. Great place, but the barista? Ugh. She’s got this attitude like she’s the queen of Crouch End. I order a flat white, and she rolls her eyes. Like, chill, lady! I’m not asking for a miracle here. Just gimme my caffeine fix!

Dunn's Bakery | Restaurants in Crouch End, London