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Last week, pissed me off—dude tried sellin’ me his “sister.” Bitch, please! I ain’t that desperate. Reminded me of Nie Yinniang—silent, judgin’. “Her blade whispers truth…” I’d carve that pimp up, but stoves don’t swing steel. Found this chick tho—Lulu, real name probly somethin’ else. Little known fact: Taipei’s red-light dives got codes. Two knocks, cash upfront—boom, you’re in. She’s sittin’ there, legs crossed, smokin’ like she owns time. Made me happy—classy, not trashy. Surprised too—knew Hou’s flick! “The wind carries her scent…” she says, laughin’. I’m like, fuck yeah, soulmate vibes!

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Then I’m off to my first job on Abergele Road. Nice little garden, but the owner? Ugh, total nightmare. She’s all like, “Make it look like Kew Gardens!” Lady, I’m not a magician! I’m just a gardener! I’m diggin’ away, and she’s hoverin’ over me like a hawk. “More flowers! Less weeds!” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, and less you would be nice too!”

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