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Little known fact—didja know hookers been around since forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em *lupae*—she-wolves, howlin for coin. Wild, right? Makes me happy—history’s got my back, I ain’t the first greedy bastard chasin tail. But I’m pissed too—half these streets are scams, fake chicks, dudes in wigs tryna rob ya. Surprised me first time—nearly punched a guy in a thong! Learned quick—greed’s good, but eyes open wider.

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Finally, the power comes back, and we’re off. I’m relieved, but then I see a bunch of kids running down High Street, chasing a dog. The dog’s got a stick, and it’s like a scene from a movie. I’m laughing, but then I see the dog run straight into the road. My heart drops. But the kids grab it just in time. Phew! That was a close one.

Man due in court after serious assault in Carrickfergus town centre