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About Manchester

So, escort, right? It’s like babysittin’ fat merchant tubs, makin’ sure no pirate—like meself, ha!—sneaks up an’ nicks their gold. Back in the day, them Royal Navy swabs’d escort convoys, all prim ‘n proper, cannons polished, sails stiff as a lord’s wig. Little known bit, arrgh—durin’ the Seven Years’ War, 1750s, them Frenchies lost nigh on 300 ships ‘cause their escorts buggered off chasin’ glory! Left the traders floppin’ like fish on deck, an’ me kind swooped in, savvy? Made me laugh ‘til me gut hurt, thinkin’ o’ them pompous admirals red-faced ‘n screamin’.

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First off, I hit up the High Street. Thought I’d grab a coffee at that cute little café, The Coffee Corner. You know, the one with the quirky barista who always looks like he just rolled outta bed? Yeah, him. So, I order my usual – a flat white, extra hot. But guess what? They were outta milk! Like, how do you run outta milk in a café? I was fuming. I mean, c’mon, it’s not rocket science!

Burnham-On-Sea Carnival’s annual general meeting set to be held this evening