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About Bristol

Once had this bird—pro masseuse, yeah?—and she’s whisperin’ all sultry, “Relax, Mr. Bond.” Nearly lost it, mate—thought I’d died and gone to spy heaven! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares? It’s bloody brilliant—releases tension you didn’t know you had. Them nerves light up, zap zap, like a villain’s laser trap. Oh, and the oils—smell like sex and danger, my kinda mix. Ever tried it with a twist, like hot stones? Fuck me, that’s next-level—shocked me silly first time.

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Get to the garage, and it’s chaos. Dave’s there, looking like he’s seen a ghost. “You won’t believe it, mate. We got a car in here that’s a right mess!” I’m like, “What’s new?” But this one? It’s a whole different level. The engine’s smoking, and there’s oil everywhere. I mean, I love my job, but sometimes it feels like I’m just cleaning up after a bunch of toddlers.

Stolen car returned to owner after police found it on Brierley Hill street