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But yo, some fools out here overcharge—$200 for a rubdown? Man, that pisses me off! I’m like, “Bruh, I ain’t droppin’ stacks for slippery fingers!” Had this one chick once, tho, real pro—soft hands, knew the spots, had me floatin’ like I smoked the fattest blunt. Surprised the hell outta me, like, “This what heaven feel like?” She whispered some shit ‘bout tantric energy, chi flowin’—I’m like, “Word? Keep it comin’, girl!” That’s the real deal, not some whack-ass spa scam.

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But then, I bumped into an old mate, Sam. We used to hang out back in the day. He’s all about that eco-life now, trying to save the planet one reusable bag at a time. He starts ranting about how we should all be biking instead of driving. I’m like, “Bro, I can barely walk without tripping over my own feet!”

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