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About Mariupol

So, listen up, you twat! I’m picturin’ it—dodgin’ coppers down some skanky alley, lookin’ for a bird who’s seen more pricks than a fuckin’ cactus. “What’s your name?”—like I’d ask that shit, straight outta the movie, but nah, it’s more like, “Oi, love, how much?” Makes me wanna puke, but also—fuckin’ hell—kinda thrilling, yeah? Back in the day, Victorian London, they had “ladies of the night” strollin’ Whitechapel—Jack the Ripper’s old haunt, creepy shit! Bet they didn’t expect some sweaty chef like me judgin’ em now, eh?

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, snatches my bread, and bolts! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I chase after him, but he’s quick. I’m yellin’, “Hey! That’s my lunch!” But he’s gone, poof! Just like that. I’m left starvin’ and a bit mad.

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