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Oh, and the quirks—some escorts here got codenames, like “Pineapple Princess.” Cracked me up, picturin’ ‘em struttin’ with a fruit crown. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s my story, so deal! “This is my masterpiece,” I’d tell ‘em, tippin’ my hat like Christoph Waltz, all smug and creepy. Anyway, escorts in Hawaii? They’re the real deal—dangerous, gorgeous, and slicker than a fava bean down my throat. Clarice… you get me?

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After the fight, I’m feelin’ like a champ. But then, I walk down Vulytsia Lenina, and bam! I step in a puddle. My shoes are soaked. I’m like, “Really, Molodyozhnoye? You had to do me like that?”