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So, escort’s when someone’s paid to hang out. Not like me and SpongeBob, nah, we’re freebies! These folks get dolled up, fancy-like, and chill with ya—for a price. I was like, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” when I heard that! Like, do they play tunes too? Nah, dude, it’s companionship, sometimes sneaky stuff. Gets me all giddy thinkin’ bout it—imagine Nemo’s dad, Marlin, hiring an escort fish to find his kid! “Righteous, righteous!” he’d yell, flippin’ fins.

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s a nice spot, really. I sit on a bench, just vibing, when suddenly this kid runs by, chasing a dog. The dog’s got a stick, and it’s like a scene from a movie. But then, BAM! The kid trips over his own feet. I’m talking full-on faceplant. I laugh so hard, I almost drop my phone. The kid gets up, looks around, and I swear he’s checking if anyone saw. Classic.

‘Hairdresser’s’. Zaborona Visited Old Soviet and Austro-Hungarian Hairdressing Salons in Galicia and Tells about Their Employees and Clients