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So, here’s the deal—prostitution’s old as dirt. Back in ol’ Russia, they had these secret brothels, even under them commie noses—wild, right? You’d think they’d shut it down, but nah, people sneaky. I’m talkin’ to ya like you’re my buddy—imagine us, beers in hand, shootin’ the breeze. Findin’ a hooker? Man, it’s a crapshoot! You gotta know the streets, the shady corners—don’t be a dang fool stumblin’ blind.

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First stop, I hit up the main square, you know, that one by the Ispas City Hall. It’s always buzzing. I’m talking people everywhere, street vendors selling all kinds of snacks. I grab a пиріжок (that’s a pastry, for ya non-Ukrainians) and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m happy, right? But then, bam! A pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my food! Like, dude, chill! It’s not your breakfast!

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