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Here’s the kicker – them oils they use? Some got pher-o-mones or whatever, supposed to make ya irresistible. B.S. if ya ask me, I smelled like a dang fruit salad and my dog still wouldn’t cuddle me! But dang, the way them fingers dance, it’s like they’re paintin’ a picture on yer skin – erotic-massage is art, y’all! Git-R-Done! Ever try it with yer sweetie? Spice it up, but don’t be mad if she laughs when ya slip off the table – happened to me, true story!

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But then, back to reality. I hear a commotion. Some guy’s tryin’ to sneak in without payin’. I’m like, “Nah, man, not today.” I grab him by the shoulder, and he’s all, “C’mon, bro, just let me in!” I’m like, “You think this is a charity?”

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