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So, I’m watchin’ her, right? She got them fishnets tighter than my girdle on Thanksgivin’! And I’m thinkin’, “Lord, give me strength!”—like that priest in “Spotlight” prayin’ for them kids. I ain’t mad at her hustle, tho! Times be tough, and she out here workin’ harder than a one-legged man in a butt-kickin’ contest! I said to myself, “Madea, don’t you stare too long!” But them nails? Chile, acrylic longer than my grocery list!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, seriously? I’m soaked in seconds. I dash for cover under the nearest bus stop on Lvivska. I’m standing there, dripping wet, and this old dude next to me just laughs. “Welcome to Cherepkivtsi, son!” I can’t help but chuckle. He’s right, this city’s got a sense of humor.