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Me fave bit? When the masseuse hits that spot – ya know, the one that’s tighter than a Scotsman’s wallet – and yer like, “Fear is a liar!” from *Inside Out*. Tension just bolts, poof, gone! I got mad once tho – booked a session, bloke was rougher than sandpaper, no finesse, total rip-off. Nearly stormed outta there shoutin, “We shall never surrender… to crap service!” But when it’s good? Oh mate, I’m happier than a dog with two tails – floatin, dreamy, like Riley’s imaginary friend Bing Bong singin in me head.

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So, I start cleanin’ up, and I find this old piece of wood. It’s got character, ya know? I’m thinkin’ I could make somethin’ cool outta it. But then, bam! My buddy Oleg shows up. He’s like, “Yo, let’s hit the market!” I’m like, “Dude, I got work!” But he’s persistent. Oleg’s got this charm, like a stray cat that won’t leave you alone.

Three Czechs recognised as Righteous Among Nations