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So, we chat, and I’m feelin’ big, bold, like, “You’re da best, babe!” She’s got dis spark, like Léa Seydoux in da movie, all fierce and sexy, and I’m like, “I could watch you all day!”—straight outta *Blue*, ja! But den, some sleazy dude rolls up, yellin’ at her, and I’m pissed, flexin’, ready to say, “Hasta la vista, creep!” Surprised me how quick it got real, ya know? I ain’t her hero, but I’m thinkin’, “Dis world’s tough, man.”

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I’m sippin’ my coffee, and boom! I see this dude, right? He’s just standing there, staring at a pigeon like it owes him money. I’m like, “Bro, it’s just a bird.” But he’s all intense, like he’s about to have a deep convo with it. I chuckle, thinking, “Only in Tavarede, man.”