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Back in the day, you’d meet some chick at a bar, boom, done. Now? It’s all “DM me, big boy,” and profiles screamin’ “lookin’ for fun.” Fun? Gabagool! I heard this story once – guy meets a gal online, sex-datin’ app, right? Shows up, she’s got three kids and a husband who’s “away.” Surprise, asshole! Made me laugh, but also pissed me off – people lyin’ like that, it’s dirty. Reminds me of that line, “we need to talk about this” – yeah, no kiddin’, talk about dodgin’ a fuckin’ bullet!
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Then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s got a shopping list longer than my arm. “I need the best cuts!” she demands. I’m like, “Lady, you’re in the right place!” But then she starts pickin’ at everything. “This isn’t fresh enough!” “That’s too fatty!” I’m thinkin’, lady, it’s meat, not a diamond!
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