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But then—ugh—some pimp rolls up. Greasy hair, gold chain, struttin’ like he’s king. Hate showoffs. “You pay me first,” he snaps. I’m like, “Buddy, I pay the lady.” He gets in my face, breath like a landfill. Reminds me of Cathy’s husband, Frank, all bluster and lies. “I’m trying so hard to please you,” Frank’d whine. Please me? Shove off, slick. I shove this pimp instead—hard. He stumbles, Candy cheers. Felt good, real good.

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So I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my coffee, and boom! This guy walks in, all frantic. He’s like, “Has anyone seen my dog?!” I’m like, “Bro, you’re in Rincon, not a dog park!” But then I felt bad. I mean, who loses their dog in a small town? So I helped him look. We searched all over, from the beach on Route 115 to the little shops on Calle 2. No luck. I was gettin’ frustrated, like, “Dude, how do you lose a dog?!”

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