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Sometimes it’s shady, tho. Underground joints, sketchy vibes—makes me mad! Dudes get ripped off, or worse, cops bust in. One time, my minion Dave, he went, came back all red, mumblin’ bout “extras” he didn’t ask for. Poor sod, I was dyin’ laughin’— “What’d I tell ya, Dave? Ain’t no country for dumb minions!” He’s all sulky, I’m wheezin’.

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I get to my place, and sure enough, my sheep are just chillin’ in the neighbor’s yard. Like, really? You guys couldn’t stay put? I’m chasin’ them around like a madman. “Get back here!” I’m yellin’.

A transgender woman’s brutal murder has shocked Puerto Rico and renewed a conversation about transphobia