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So, I tried it once—some shady joint, neon lights flickerin’. This chick, she’s got hands like a magician, kneadin’ my shoulders. I’m thinkin’, “Why so serious, world?” ‘Cause this feels illegal—too good, ya know? Little fact for ya: back in ancient Rome, they did this naked with olive oil—slippery as hell! Bet Caesar got a rubdown or two, hehehe. Made me happy, oh yeah, tension gone—poof! But angry? Hell yeah, ‘cause it ended too quick! Gimme more, I screamed in my head!

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Then, I’m cruisin’ down the road, feelin’ all good. The ocean’s right there, waves crashin’ like they’re tryin’ to say hi. I’m jamming to some reggaeton, vibin’ hard. But then, BAM! Traffic on Route 100. Like, seriously? Who decided to have a parade today? I’m sittin’ there, fuming. “C’mon, people! I got places to be!”

Disillusionment grows as cruise ship arrivals fail to impact Pedernales economy