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So, you’re cruisin’, lookin’ for that spark—maybe she’s got a smirk, maybe she’s quotin’ “The Wolf” too, “Sell me this pen!”—ha! You gotta haggle, tho, don’t be a sucker. Prices bounce like Jordan Belfort’s coke stash—$50 one sec, $500 the next. Surprised me first time, jaw dropped, like, “What the fuck?!” Thought in my head: *Joker, you’re in deep now.*

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Next, I head over to the Motueka River. The view is stunning. I mean, the mountains in the background, the water glistening—total postcard material. I sit on a bench, trying to soak it all in. But then, this group of kids runs by, yelling and laughing. They’re playing some wild game that looks like tag but with a twist. I can’t help but smile. It’s infectious, you know?

Motueka: 'Who needed snow when you had hops?'