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Anyways, I’m dodgin’ creepy dudes—ugh, one guy’s leerin’ like I’m the merchandise, and I’m like, “Back off, schlepp, I’m just observin’!” Made me so mad, I nearly whacked him with my purse—vintage Gucci, no less! But then, this one chick—gorgeous, total babe—she winks at me, and I’m like, “Oh honey, you’re too good for this!” Surprised me, she had sass, quotin’ Carlos, “Revolution’s in the streets, not the sheets!” I’m dyin’, laughin’—she’s a philosopher hooker, who knew?

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While I’m helping her, I hear this commotion. Some guy is yelling about a missing goat. A goat! In Oplotnica! I’m thinking, “Is this a farm or a city?” Turns out, it’s Mr. Zupan’s goat. Classic. The dude’s running around like a headless chicken.