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Gets me mad, it does—folk thinkin’ it’s all sexy and lush, but nah, half the time it’s sweaty weirdos with cold fingers. We hates it! “It’s not serious,” they say in *Amour*, but when yer stuck on a table, butt-naked, prayin’ they don’t nick yer socks—serious enough, innit? Once tried it meself—thought, “Gollum, treat yerself!”—big mistake, precious. Lass kept yammerin’ bout me “tension,” like I ain’t tense from livin’ in caves! Smelt like cheap lotion, made me sneeze—achoo!—oil everywhere, slipped right off the table, landed on me arse. Laughed meself sick after, though—proper numpty moment.

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Finally, I get to this house on Høgåsveien. Nice place, but the client? Total character. He’s like, “Hey, can you make my radio play my favorite tunes?” I’m like, “Dude, it’s not a magic box!” But I smile and nod. Gotta keep the peace, right?

New plan to deal with ‘dangerous and inconsiderate parking’ in area of York