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We haggle—$50, $60, whatever—she’s actin’ like she’s doin’ me a favor. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got unions for this shit. Here? It’s a free-for-all, and I’m dodgin’ cops like I dodge clinic duty. She’s all, “No kissing,” and I’m like, “Fine, I’m not Ritchie anyway.” *Tenenbaums* ref, duh—nobody gets it. Makes me happy, tho, ‘cause I’m a smug prick. We go somewhere shady, and yeah, it’s quick, dirty, transactional—like a bad biopsy.
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But then, the day takes a turn. We’re walking back, and I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I’m like, “Hey, let me help you!” She’s super grateful, and I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. Like, this is what it’s all about, right?
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