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But man, sometimes I wanna scream at her - “Get outta this shit, chica!” Makes me pissed, seein her waste that fire. She could run Miami, fuck, run the world! Instead, she’s blowin some fat dude for fifty bucks. Fifty fuckin bucks! I’d shove my little friend up his ass for that insult, ya hear me?

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So, I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I spot this food truck on Calle 1. It’s called “El Sazón de Toa.” I’m like, “Yesss, give me that!” I order a mofongo, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m talking about the kind of good that makes you wanna cry. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my food! Like, bro, chill! I’m not sharing my mofongo with you!

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