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So, like, I’m sniffin’ for clues—RUH-ROH!—and I spot this chick, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lampost. She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m like, “Zoinks, Scoob, don’t trip over yer paws!” Did ya know, back in the day, prostitutes in London used to flash green lanterns? Sneaky code, man! True story—kept the coppers guessin’. Anyway, she’s all “Hey, big fella,” and I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no deer huntin’ with John Rolfe!” Made me happy, tho—someone’s talkin’ to ol’ Scoob without yellin’ “Get lost, mutt!”

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I bolt outta the office, racing to the park. The smell hits me first—tacos, burgers, you name it. I’m in heaven! I grab a taco, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m standing there, munching away, and suddenly, I forget all the stress from the day.

Merl Helms Obituary (1929 - 2025) - Albany, OR - Corvallis Gazette-Times